8 year old drives to Target, Kemi Badenoch claims she 'became working class' when she worked at McDonald's & P Diddy's 1,000 bottles of baby oil and lube
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
Hope your weekend has the same energy as the 8-year-old who drove to Target, spent $400 and was captured by the police while ordering a Starbucks Frappuccino.
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
50 Cent mocks P Diddy after 1,000 baby oil and lube bottles seized in FBI arrest:
Kemi Badenoch claims she 'became working class' after securing a job at McDonald's as a teenager
Chappell Roan tells The Face that fame has the vibe of an ‘abusive ex-husband’
Love a girl who owns her cringe: Here’s a video of Rebecca Black playing a Friday x 360 mashup at her Boiler Room set.
Georjia’s favourite headlines
One of the final messages from the crew of the Titan submersible before it imploded? “All good here.”
An 8-year-old girl was caught driving her mother’s Nissan Rogue to Target, spent $400 and was captured by the police while ordering a Starbucks Frappuccino. The police have confirmed they let her finish her drink before taking her home.
Cinnamon the capybara was on the run this week after escaping her zoo enclosure.
Chappell Roan tells Rolling Stone why she hires local Drag queens to perform at her shows instead of established ‘Drag Race’ queens:
“Look, I love the Drag Race girls, but sometimes they take up all the slots in towns because they’re on Drag Race, and the little queens just sometimes don’t have a platform as big. It’s important for people to know, ‘Oh my God, there are queens in my town. I had no idea.’”
WYR get caught with 1,000 bottles of baby oil or have your set interrupted by Sia?
Context: The first part of this week’s Would You Rather is inspired by the news that officers seized “more than 1,000 bottles of baby oil and lubricant” from P Diddy, who was arrested for allegedly running a “criminal enterprise” that forced women into sex acts, which he referred to as “Freak Offs.” The second half references Sia’s surprise performance from the crowd at Kathy Griffin’s show.
Georjia: Baby oil is a multipurpose product, you can’t deny it. But it’s definitely not multipurpose enough to need 1,000 bottles. The whole thing of being caught with it is the issue, it’s what makes it embarrassing. But at least you can have it for life. Doing a set is nerve wracking enough but then to have Sia interrupt it to sing from the back row?? Absolutely not. Don’t interrupt me while I’m performing – if you want to perform go on tour, Sia! At least with the baby oil I can keep it for life. I’ll take the baby oil.
Annie: The hypothetical context for the second option seems pretty clear cut (getting interrupted on stage), while the first one feels a little more nefarious. Am I starting a scammy snake oil business re-selling bottles of baby oil but sticking a different label on it, à la Caroline Calloway? Did I mean to order 1 bottle but accidentally added three zeros to the online order? Have I decided to become a masseuse? I feel like if the use of the baby oil isn’t creepy, this could be a pretty absurd and entertaining story ngl. You bet I’d try to pitch it to the Cut or something. Just because the lack of context feels too risky, I’d rather have someone interrupt a performance I’m giving – if I’m already on stage, I should be prepared for hecklers!
Weekly palate cleansers
Annie: Babygirl Kyle McLachlan at Charli XCX concert (slide 3, you’re welcome)
Meme of the week
The domino effect of Taylor Swift’s endorsement of Kamala Harris:
That’s it for this week, see you next Friday!