Anna Delvey to perform on Dancing with the Stars while rocking her ankle tag, Abraham Lincoln might have been fruity & 1600s coke heads
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
We’re back with a real pick’n’mix of headlines, buckle up and enjoy:
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
One of those things that feel intrinsically British: Viscountess calls on amateur sleuths to solve mystery of Duck Strangler on Earl of Sandwich’s estate. The Independent reports:
The viscountess, who is married to the son of the 11th Earl of Sandwich, said that while they have not involved the police or the RPCA, they do want the “duck strangler” to apologise.
New Reddit conspiracy theory: The Famous Grimes Album That Mysteriously Made People Want To Shave Their Heads
Vulture reports: Yeah, Nobody Wants Donald J. Trump Using Their Songs in His Campaign. For your pleasure and ease, the publication lists all artists who have refused to have their music included in Trump’s campaign playlist:
Isaac Hayes
Céline Dion
Beyoncé
Foo Fighters
ABBA
Jack White and the White Stripes
(and probably a bunch more let’s face it)
Something to think about as we head into the weekend: People Were Doing Cocaine in the 1600s, Research Shows
The last sentence in this perfectly crafted tweet:
Georjia’s favourite headlines
In the new documentary “Lover of Men: The Untold History of Abraham Lincoln,” director Shaun Peterson tackles decades’ worth of speculation about the sexual orientation of Honest Abe, suggesting he might’ve been queer.
A girl was gifted a croissant-shaped lamp from Temu, and it turns out the lamp was a real croissant covered in resin.
Criminal Anna Delvey has been announced as a star on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars with her ankle tag. I’ll leave this with Whoopi Goldberg’s opinion.
WYR deposit a fraudulent cheque because you fell for a TikTok trend or have the internet hate you because you stood in the way while recording a TikTok in the middle of the street?
Context: The first half of this week’s Would You Rather refers to the Chase “money glitch” hack that actually turned out to be just fraud, which involved the rumour on TikTok that Chase bank was allowing people to withdraw funds from a deposited cheque right away, making lots of people write themselves massive cheques and cashing them. The second part references a video that went viral this week as a result of people expressing solidarity with a disgruntled New Yorker who got annoyed at a group of friends recording a TikTok with seemingly no spatial awareness.
Georjia: If I got hate because I stood in the way of someone when I was recording a TikTok, that’s fair game. I would get hate from the person I’m blocking and then I’d somehow willingly post it to get loads more hate and every bit of it is fair. All these people doing fit checks in the middle of a busy street deserve someone to make a comment if they’re blocking people. And I would want someone to tell me off if I did it. Read the room! Read the road more like! That’s not as bad as committing a federal crime. To fall for a trend that makes me deposit and cash out a fraudulent cheque is no one’s fault but my own – if I’m stupid enough to fall for it, then lock me up and throw away the key. Imagine being in jail or court and someone asks what you did and you have to say, “Oh well I saw this TikTok…” how cringe. I’ll get hate on TikTok for blocking a street – at least it won’t give me 5 - 10 years in prison.
Annie: I’ve seen too many @influencersinthewild videos to want to be anywhere near the second option of this Would You Rather. I’m the kind of person who treats getting through security like a competition – I want airport staff to know this isn’t my first rodeo and my only goal is to be the least inconvenient and most efficient passenger than anyone else there. Getting on a train during rush hour? You can be sure I’ll evil-eye you if you don’t take off your backpack. My boyfriend and I take up too much space on the street? We stop holding hands and walk in a 2-person row instead. Like someone once said when the tubes were striking and a couple was blocking the exit: This is no time for romance! So what if I cashed a fraudulent cheque? If the bank is stupid enough to let it happen, maybe they had it coming. Maybe they even learned something valuable from it. They should be thankful for the experience, actually. I can always claim that I’m a mere victim of disinformation on TikTok (after I’ve enjoyed a few expensive drinks and went on a weekend trip abroad). Let me fall for the TikTok trend, I’d rather be stupid than annoying.
Weekly palate cleansers
Georjia: This video of Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul DJing together.
Annie: Will Ferrell goes on a road trip with his trans best friend in new documentary
Meme of the week
Reacting to the news that Labour wants to offer workers a 4-day work week, but is really just asking people to work “compressed hours” so you do everything you normally do in 5 days in 4 instead – wouldn’t want to upset the bosses and shareholders now would we x
That’s it for this week, see you next Friday!