Cleopatra IS brat, Olympic surfer shows ass & Athlete tries to expose himself to E. coli to avoid contracting it
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
Hope you’re enjoying the swift resurgence of brat summer. 💚
Lots of Olympics coverage this week so let’s get straight into it:
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
I would actually die if I was on the receiving end of this: Pop Bitch reports that Sarah Jessica Parker rang a bunch of news outlets to demand a correction that she definitely wasn’t at Jennifer Lopez’ Bridgerton-themed birthday party.
Athlete tries to expose himself to E. coli to avoid contracting… E.coli.
In case you were wondering if Charli is actually bumpin’ that.
Georjia’s favourite headlines
Norway’s Henrik Christiansen The Viral Chocolate Muffin Connoisseur Of The Olympic Village
How ‘girl dad’ Flavor Flav became hype man for the US women’s water polo team
Olympian and gymnastics GOAT, Simone Biles hits back at gymnast MyKayla Skinner who complained about her work ethic.
Cleopatra IS brat? These 5 women in history were the OG brat girls
WYR accidentally show ass in an Olympic surfing competition or expose yourself to E. coli to win a medal?
Context: The first half quite literally refers to German surfer Tim Elter mooning the whole world after his shorts slid down during the competition (his response? “When the waves don’t deliver, then my ass does.”) The second half refers to another Olympics athlete, who’s decided to expose himself to a little E. coli daily to build up his “E. coli threshold”.
Georjia: I wouldn’t want to do either of these straight up. At least when you accidentally show your ass while competing, it’s an accident. You didn’t intend to show your ass, it just happened, sadly it happened at the biggest sporting event in the world with God knows how many viewers staring at your cheeks. Exposing myself to E. coli to try and win?! Is it really that serious? No one likes E. coli let alone would actively try and get it! Why on earth would I do that? I don’t care if it’s for a bit of metal on a ribbon or if I got a billion pounds for it, I’m still doing everything in my being to actively NOT get E.coli. I’ll accidentally flash my ass thank you.
Annie: Just had to look up the symptoms for E. coli to answer this question – listen. I’d say I occasionally exhibit hypochondriacal tendencies, but believe me when I say I’ve experienced worse than “diarrhoea, stomach cramps and occasionally fever” (thank you Google). When you train at the level of an athlete, feeling sick and throwing up is the norm anyway, so I might as well get a medal for it. Flashing my ass on live TV? There are worse things when they happen to other people, but the rules are different for me. <3 I’m not sure I could live with the embarrassment of that, I’m sure my parents are watching too!!!! No thank you, the only ass business I’ll allow are the consequences of E. coli.
Weekly palate cleansers
Georjia: Shoutout to the Olympics x Food intersections going on this year:
Annie: Don’t care about the Olympics unless it lands on my TikTok or Twitter feed so here’s this charming video of a cameraman filming the trampoline gymnastics.
Meme of the week
Final Olympics shoutout:
That’s it for this week, see you next Friday!