Esquire says Joaquin Phoenix Puts the ‘Quitter’ in LGBTQ, Mr Beast allegations & Vogue releases 'Dogue'
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
Hope the post-Olympics blues hasn’t been too painful. Maybe this will cheer you up though:
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
Australians started a petition demanding an investigation and apology from Olympic breakdancer Raygun (who has a PhD about breakdancing and only scored a measly 2 points). The petition reportedly garnered over 45,000 signatures before it was taken down. Several outlets report that the petition has been criticised by the Australian Olympic Committee.
Katy Perry Danced on the Wrong Dunes: Not only did she try to save her floppy comeback by claiming WOMAN’S WORLD is satire, now she’s also got beef with the government of coastal Spain because her new music video ‘Lifetimes’ shows her dancing on some ecologically important sand dunes.
Joaquin Phoenix Puts the ‘Quitter’ in LGBTQ, Esquire reports.
“Phoenix has reportedly deserted the Todd Haynes–directed gay romance he was set to star in just five days before filming in July, per IndieWire. Promise you this: No gay actor would ever pull out.”
Can’t even describe to you the satisfaction of finally having confirmation Mr Beast was a weirdo all along: Time Magazine breaks down the allegations against Mr Beast and his company
Georjia’s favourite headlines
CSIS Canada posted a tweet saying that if a stranger compliments you, they might be a foreign spy.
Real Housewives of Dubai star releases a press statement announcing the end of her friendship “personally and professionally.” with a co-star. I think I would prefer being ghosted.
Vogue have released Dogue, a spread of celebrities dogs on Vogue covers.
WYR your own country demanded an apology from you after a poor performance at the Olympics or get pranked by protestors at your own book launch?
Context: The first half of this week’s Would You Rather refers to Australians demanding an apology from Australian Olympic breakdancer Raygun, who they say scammed her way into competing. The second half is a reference to endlessly meme-able Liz Truss, who walked out of her own book promotion event after a banner was lowered of a lettuce with the caption “I crashed the economy.”
Georjia: How bad could I possibly be to have to apologise? For any Olympic sport, I think I would apologise for just being considered as a worthy choice. The entire nation believes I’m shit and that I should apologise for it, fair enough I guess? I feel like you’d think that your own book launch would be a safe space from protestors but then again, I’m not Liz Truss. I grew up in the noughties, I remember people getting flour bombed and protested at any event, so I feel like for any event you need to consider something COULD happen. If I did get pranked by protestors are my own event, from a PR standpoint you could spin it to either being a victim or being in on the joke. I think that would be easier to do than convince the nation that you believed you were good at something. Apologising to the nation isn’t so bad – just say sorry and then you’re done. But I don’t think I could deal with that shame. Bring on the protestors.
Annie: I used to play competitive handball for a couple of years. I would be filled with nothing but self-loathing whenever I messed up, always blaming myself when our team lost (which, frankly, we did a lot). Rest assured that if an entire nation asked me to apologise for a poor performance at the Olympics, I would get on my knees and ask for forgiveness. Maybe add a few hundred hours of community service so I can actually get a chance of redemption. Getting pranked by protestors at my own event though? I don’t think being provocative is a marker of greatness, but I guess those protestors could be right-wing assholes who don’t like me writing about, I dunno, let’s say, people having the right so safe housing. Even though I’d happily apologise for pretty much anything, I think I’d rather be pranked by protestors. If they’re assholes, then I can always play the victim card, maybe it’s even useful press for the book. If they’re not, but their joke is funny enough, then hell, why not laugh along! A bit of humility never hurt nobody, and if someone’s pranking me, maybe getting humbled was long overdue.
Weekly palate cleansers
Annie: This TikTok screenshot:
Meme of the week
Finally some good news:
That’s it for this week, see you next Friday!