Finnish PM Sanna Marin keeps having to apologise for being cool as f*ck, Michael Jackson phobias & Jennifer Lopez cuts dancers from auditions after learning they're Virgos
From celebrity feuds to a corn TikTok to raise your spirits: we got it all.
Hello friend,
We’ve loved seeing your submissions and pitches arrive in our inbox since posting our call-out! It really feels like the theme of belonging has struck a chord with many of you - we couldn’t be more grateful for your willingness to open up about your interpretations of issue 4.
With that being said, we still have a handful of copies of issue 3 left, so grab them while you can!
If you’d like to pitch an idea or send over a submission for the next one, you can contact us via cringe.editorial@gmail.com
WYR be an unsuccessful but talented or a successful but talentless nepo baby?
Georjia: Either way with these options, someone online will have an issue with you being a nepo baby. Everyone has wished they were one at some point, but you know the shit they get (even if it’s not bad). There are plenty of talented nepo babies who people are fine with (Maya Hawke, Drew Barrymore, Dakota Johnson etc) but then there are some which aren’t talented. I’d take being unsuccessful but talented probably. The talent is there, the clout is not. Being not talented but successful does what? Not much.
Klaidas: I’ll be honest, either option, you’ll be rich 🤑so does it really matter? However, I would rather be talented and unsuccessful because it would really be on what you define as success. You’d have the money so I wouldn’t be worried and it would be a great way to meet people with the talents I would possess - now what talents I possess would be another conversation. But I feel like with this option, you’d still get to enjoy life in a much deeper way and hopefully not have to deal with a lot of hate.
Annika: I’m really struggling to figure out which one is less embarrassing: Having everything handed to me on a silver plate but being unsuccessful, or being handed the same deck of cards and remaining utterly talentless. If I was talented, at least I think I’d have more fun and a greater passion for my craft - even if the lack of success means I’m not actually making any great, visible contributions.
Maybe it’s best to approach this from the point of harm theory; I imagine being a talentless but successful nepo baby creates more harm than an unsuccessful but talented one? I also think the sympathy I might get from people would outweigh the ridicule of my lack of success despite the nepotism. Although I’m a defender of living with a sprinkle of delusion, I think for this one I’d rather be talented and unsuccessful than the other way around.
WATERCOOLER CHATS
Have you been in a semi-dissociative state since TikTok’s Corn Kid infiltrated our collective consciousness? Have you struggled focusing on anything else since and all you want to do is reference corn, making conversations with anyone outside of the TikTok bubble quite difficult? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
Imagine this: You’re the world’s youngest elected leader, effortlessly rising through the ranks of Finland’s centre-left Social Democratic party, and all people sudenly want you to do is apologise for having… a social life? This is exactly what happened to Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin and her so-called “partying scandals.” To put this into perspective, while Marin was forced to do a drug test (which came back negative btw), one of our own Tory MPs was forced to resign after watching porn on his phone in parliament while pretending to looking at tractors. Double-standards doesn’t even cut it.
This summer’s season of Love Island left a hole the reunion unfortunately couldn’t fill, and now that news has gone out that Gemma Owens got the PLT deal after the nation voted for Indiyah and the brand used her as clout, Twitter is split between being mad and unsurprised. Tbh, we didn’t want a dying fast fashion brand for Indiyah anyway.
As this is apparently becoming a new IRL series, here’s another example of celebrities disproportioantely contributing to the climate crisis: Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, Sylvester Stallone, Kevin Hart, and Dwayne Wade received notices to cut back on their water usage in California after surpassing consumption by 150% multiple times since last year. The state is currently facing its worst drought since the 1800s.
Brooklyn Peltz Beckham’s wife Nicola was spotted cosplaying as Victoria Beckham… whether this is truly a response to the alleged feud instead of admiration for her iconic mother-in-law is unclear, but either way - a better serve than any of Brooklyn’s nepotistic pursuits which we were reminded of and inspired this week’s Would You Rather.
Speaking of serves, Lady Gaga had people walking out of her Texas concert by saying she wants the state to go blue.
Apparently Michael Jackson phobias are a thing. That’s all.
People really seem to find confusing accents so uncanny, this clip of Harry Styles in ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ alongside the alleged feud between Olivia Wilde and Florence Pugh is giving the film twice as much PR than anticipated.
In this week’s episode of Celebrities Being Weird: Heather Morris alleges that several dancers were cut from the audition process of one of Jennifer Lopez’ tours after she found out they were Virgos.
Harry Styles recently faced backlash for comments about ‘gay sex in films’ in an interview about his upcoming film ‘My Policeman’, saying that:
“So much of gay sex in film is two guys going at it, and it kind of removes the tenderness from it. There will be, I would imagine, some people who watch it who were very much alive during this time when it was illegal to be gay, and [director Michael Grandage] wanted to show that it’s tender and loving and sensitive.”
As this Dazed article points out, while his comment might have been ill-informed, people saying that this proves he’s not legitimately queer can, quite frankly, do one. Styles is not exactly a Jack Halberstam-esque queer critic, so why expect any solid queer cultural criticism from him? As the writer of the article points out:
“Complaining about gratuitous sex scenes is something which gay people have been doing for years. Being this prudish and annoying about sex scenes is, regrettably, one of the most queer things he’s done in public.”
If you find yourself bored, we highly recommend playing arounth this Viral Post Generator which lets you decide at what cringe level you want it to write a LinkedIn post for you.
CRINGE MEME
Weekly meme goes out to this corn legend:
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That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x