Following the case against Joe Rogan, Riri's bejeweled baby bump, and desperate PR stunts.
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Hello friend,
Congratulations to the internet for nearly making it through the first week of February while we can all still pay for heating and electricity. While the UK is gearing up for next Saturday’s protest against the Cost of Living, celebrities and PR agencies have been offering us the occasional break from our own realities: Be it Rihanna and A$AP Rocky’s pregnancy announcement and Riri’s stylish baby bump, celebrity news which were definitely fabricated by celebrities themselves, or the continued saga of trying to cancel a podcast host who’s basically got all his platforms in a chokehold.
But before we dive into this week’s headlines, let’s start with today’s Would You Rather:
WYR have the internet speculate whether you’re pregnant or speculate whether you got dumped hard?
Georjia: I’d hate either, truly. There are some iconic pregnancy reveals/non-reveals which have blown up the internet and there’s been some iconic break up stories (my personal favourite being Laura Dern and Billy Bob Thornton, when she went away for work and came back to him married to Angelina Jolie). I feel like my underlying body issues that have been brewing since the Tumblr days would act the hell up if someone was saying I was pregnant - selfish, I know. I’d take a dumping, you could have an amazing comeback story like Jennifer Anniston vs Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Who knows? If you have a huge level of fame you can twist any narrative. Take the breakup and deal with it!
Klaidas: Well, seeing as I’m a cis male, a pregnancy speculation could be funny because physically that can’t be done. At the moment anyway! No doubt that in the future that could change. However, I would probably rather have the speculation around why I got dumped purely because I have a feeling that may happen at one point, although I’m hoping for quite the opposite. So if you’re a gay man and are looking for someone, my DMs are empty 😂
Annika: First of all, I wouldn’t want to be well-known enough for anyone to speculate anything about me in the first place. But if I had to choose, I think I’d rather have them speculate whether I’m pregnant. Confession: As someone who’s only been broken up with, internet gossip about me getting dumped would be way more embarassing than the internet speculating that I’ve A) had sex and B) decided I have the money and time to actually carry a child. Also, I imagine pregnancy stories often spiral into other theories which I’d find incredibly entertaining and probably read out loud like spoken word during a dinner party. I never thought I’d say this in my life, but let me be pregnant!
WATERCOOLER CHATS
We hope you had some time to recharge this first weekend of February, and are ready for a new week of socialising as we’re all expected to be boostered and return to the office. In case you’ve spent most of this weekend sleeping - in which case, good for you! - here’s a list of headlines to keep you up to date and prepared for conversations you’d rather not have:
Following up from last week’s Joe Rogan news, he’s now “apologised” for saying the N-word on his podcasts multiple times (mind, not when he was trying to be ‘an edgy teenager’ on Reddit, but when he was already in his 40s) after Spotify removed 70 episodes of him using racial slurs. In the meantime, all transphobic episodes are reportedly still up.
Congratulations to Rihanna and A$AP Rocky for expecting their first child! It’s also very funny that their stylish yet-to-be-born baby is already influencing the internet, as Google searches for ‘pearl necklace’ allegedly went through the roof an hour after Rihanna’s pregnancy announcement.
In what appears to be a desperate grab at relevancy, Too Hot to Handle
villainheartbreaker Harry Jowsey was allegedly in the talking stage with Khloe Kardashian. Hilariously, she shut down those rumours real quick by responding on IG in caps: ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE.According to Pop Bitch, Kanye West has reportedly said the sanest thing in a while: “Do not ask me to do a fucking NFT.”
Because we’re not quite ready to give up Pete Davidson yet, here’s a compilation of Pete Davidson as Euphoria characters.
CRINGE MEME
In celebration of Groundhog Day last Wednesday:
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x