Happy shit-in-the-Seine day, Subway celebrates World UFO Day by delivering via drones & sea cocaine
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
We’re so happy to share that you can finally pre-order issue 7! It’s a huge issue, including 32 (!!!) contributors and 2 special guests, authors August Thompson and Samantha Sewell. The issue is now in production so we’ll have a fresh batch of issue 7 copies in our hands by the end of next week. <3
Now without further ado, let’s get into our favourite headlines of the week:
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
A perfectly written headline: Noam Chomsky told us to question the media. This week, the media reported he had died
Strangely wholesome? Kevin Costner defends ‘selfishly’ casting son in ‘Horizon’ over experienced actors: ‘He’s a beautiful boy’
Putting London infrastructure to the test: Taylor Swift celebrates Eras Tour with whopping 45 doner kebabs order from London takeaway
How “Sea Cocaine” Brought the World’s Smallest Porpoise to the Brink of Extinction. ‘Sea cocaine’ here refers to totoaba swim bladders: “There's a reason this fish was once called ‘sea cocaine.’ For as long as there are buyers, this is not going to end.”"
Subway is taking deliveries to a whole new level on World UFO Day: To celebrate World UFO Day on June 24, Subway will deliver subs, cookies, and more via drones (only available in select US cities).
Georjia’s favourite headlines
Why people are threatening to poo in Paris' River Seine today (the French just know how to protest)
Justin Timberlake was humbled this week after being arrested for a DUI and the cop didn’t even know who he was.
Troye Sivan admits that he thought the UK left Europe, not the European Union, referring to his tour as “UK and European Tour.”
Prince William spent his birthday with his kids at the Taylor Swift concert queening out.
WYR a plane had to do an emergency landing because you have lice or a colleague dumped water in your bag for months?
Context: The first part of the WYR refers to a TikTok of someone telling their story about a medical emergency plane landing, because one of the passengers had bugs crawling out of their hair. The second part references a Republican lawmaker getting caught dumping water in a colleague’s bag for months.
Georjia: One is more embarrassing and the other is more infuriating. After having water dumped in your bag for months, I’m sure you would start gaslighting yourself into why it is happening. Would I become the crazy bag lady at work who accuses everyone of being involved? Would this be my Ingrid Bergman in Gaslight moment? Having to do an emergency landing because you had lice? HOW BAD WAS IT? I think everyone has a traumatic childhood memory of the nit comb and I could never go back to that. And to land a plane full of people, ruin their travel plans, cause loads of hassle to everyone involved, I would never get back on a plane. I’ll take my colleague dumping water in my bag – they’re the crazy one doing it, not me.
Annie: Secretly pouring water into my bag is neither funny nor evil enough – what could I possibly have done to deserve this punishment? It’s giving old-school couple pranksters on YouTube, who always seem to start out with stupid and innocent pranks before spiralling into borderline abuse. What’s next? Lighting my hair on fire while I sleep? Really don’t want to take that risk, who knows what kind of crazy I’m dealing with. A medical emergency landing is hardly my fault – sure, it’s incredibly inconvenient, and perhaps the more selfish choice here, but for some reason this one feels safer. Let me get lice and get rid of them, the vengeful colleague might stick around forever.
Weekly palate cleansers
Annie: This video comparing Prince Louis and Princess Charlotte to vogue dancers.
Georjia: Joseph Gordon Levitt serenaded his wife on the Tonight Show. 😭
Meme of the week
Love it when two memes collide:
That’s it for this week, see you next Sunday!