King Charles got spooked by cling film, mechanic threw away an artwork thinking it's a beer can & "time out" campaign to stop hate in sports flops
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
It may not be Halloween yet, but there are certainly some shocking stories included in this week’s newsletter… 👻
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
Shoutout to the team over at Pop Bitch for always getting all the good toilet intel from British media offices. This week they shared that Morning Live employees received an HR email reminding everyone to flush when going to the toilet, cleaning the bowl with toilet brushes and using the sanitary bin provided. Signed off with a huge poo emoji, allegedly.
No bigger freaks than the royals: King Charles had no idea what cling film was and 'shrieked' first time he saw it.
Tyler The Creator on Chappell Roan:
“Shoutout Chappell man. I love the dramatic, it’s like theater kid sh*t, like I love that sh*t. That sh*t tight.”
Bianca Censori can finally wear whatever she wants again:
Georjia’s favourite headlines
One Directioners rejoice after Liam Payne’s ex-girlfriend confirmed which member threw him against a wall in an argument – spoiler alert, it was Zayn!
The Northern Lights showed up across the UK this week and I missed them goddamnit.
Patriots Owner Starts Country-Wide Sports Campaign Against Hate, getting famous athletes to do the “time-out” sign to “fight against all hate”. Didn’t take long for the internet to point out that “time out” is only a pause, not an end lmao anyways:
WYR accidentally get recorded clogging the guest toilet at your own wedding or be forced to go on a miles-long run with the bride on her wedding day?
Context: The first part of this week’s Would You Rather refers to an incredible story Georjia stumbled across on TikTok, about a guy fighting for his life on the toilet minutes before heading to the altar… with their videographer accidentally recording everything. The second part references another TikTok where the bride surprised guests with a miles-long run hours before the wedding.
Georjia: Both are things I wouldn’t want to do. The morning of any wedding day is jam-packed as it is, I don’t want to go on a communal run! I don’t want to run, period! You’ve got to do so much before a wedding like panic over your outfit, get ready, cry and panic all over again, get ready again – I can’t fit in a run during that time. If the bride cared and knew me well enough, they wouldn’t invite me to run. Good for them but not for me. Clogging a toilet in public is a completely rational fear so to do it and be accidentally recorded? I’d never poop again, home or away. You’d never see me in a bathroom. It makes the run seem more bearable but I hate running but it’s better than being recorded. I’ll go running and cry while doing it.
Annie: If the bride is asking me to go for a run hours before the wedding there’s a good chance that a) we’re not actually friends or b) I assume this is her way of saying she’s got cold feet and wants to get the hell out of there. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t check in with what she actually means by “let’s train for that marathon I wanna do in a few months RIGHT NOW on my WEDDING day”? However, there’s a good chance that it’s actually option a, in which case, honestly? I’d rather accidentally get recorded while tending to a basic human need that – admittedly, can escalate a bit sometimes – and have something for everyone to laugh at than attend a wedding of someone I don’t even like and then be forced to go on a run. Let me clog the toilet: I’ll just say it was a severe case of PSP (pre-stage-poo).
Weekly palate cleansers
Annie: This video of 2 seals fighting (does not look like I expected)
Georjia: TikTok of a dog shitting orbeez.
Meme of the week
In honour of the new brat remix:
That’s it for this week, see you next Friday!