Lana Del Rey’s father is happy to be the first nepo daddy, Jude Law smelled of blood, puss and shit for film role & did you get your ‘Beyoncé Adult’ train ticket?
The best cringe news of the past week according to yours truly.
Hello friend,
The day has finally come! Not only did we go to print this week, but our shiny new Hall of Fame has also officially gone live. If the universe is on our side, we should be able to ship off the first batch of copies by the end of next week.
In the meantime, check out our new cohort of contributors and their work - you might even see some familiar faces if you’re a long-time Cringe reader…
Now without further ado, let’s get into this week’s newsletter:
WYR be the Weeknd losing his voice and forgetting how to sing, or Jude Law smelling like blood, puss and shit for a film role?
Georjia: If I willingly wanted to smell like blood, shit and piss, put me down please. It’s selfish really, letting people endure that. Absolutely not for me. I’ve been sick because of the crusty smell of bad BO at a concert venue once and never again. The Weeknd is so successful (just look at his Spotify listeners compared to ANYONE) forgetting how to sing wouldn’t be much of an issue. He’s achieved everything else, I’ll be The Weeknd.
Annika: The less selfish decision would surely be to forget how to sing - after all, if I’m pivoting into acting after already making millions from being a pop singer, maybe the universe is giving me a sign to slow down and focus on one thing at a time. However, smelling of blood, puss and shit for a role would not only be the ultimate test to see if I’m good enough at acting for people to tolerate this and not hate me as a person by the end, but it would also make a great story. “If you can’t handle me at my worst, etc. etc.” kinda stuff if you ask me.
WATERCOOLER CHATS
Have you been drinking/stretching/sleeping your way into the bank holiday weekend? Can’t believe it’s Sunday already? Need a quick recap of what’s been happening pre-Bank Holiday Monday so you’re prepared to exit your mini-holiday state? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
This is really taking the whole “men can’t multi-task” trope to another extreme: The Weeknd (real name Abel Tesfaye) told W Magazine that he doesn’t know how to sing anymore after taking on his first acting role in Idol:
“My theory is that I forgot how to sing because I was playing Tedros, a character who doesn’t know how to sing. I may be looking too deeply into this, but it was terrifying. As The Weeknd, I’ve never skipped a concert. I’ve performed with the flu. I’ll die on that stage. But there was something very complicated going on with my mind at that moment.”
The show is currently at a rating of 27% on Rotten Tomatoes - hope it was worth it…
Speaking of actors who are going a little too method in their acting: Jude Law requested a custom-made perfume smelling of blood, puss and shit after reading accounts of people being able to smell King Henry VII's stench from 3 rooms away for his role in Firebrand.
In an interview with boygenius for the Wall Street Journal, Phoebe Bridgers shares that “there’s a higher chance that you’ll meet a fan that you hate than a fan that you love. You’re way more likely to be confronted with someone who just violated your privacy.” RIP to parasocial relationships (we support it).
On this week’s episode in the nepo baby universe: Lana Del Rey's dad - also known as the first self-proclaimed nepo daddy - owns the domain nepodaddy.com – which he is currently using to promote his debut album.
Netflix is increasingly acting like an ex that just can’t let go. There’s a beauty to people sharing their Netflix passwords with friends and lovers soon-to-be-ex-lovers (the awkwardness! the digital intimacy!), but now they’re going to charge $7.99 per month in the U.S. for password sharing. Let it go Netflix no one likes you!! Would argue that password sharing even saves the streaming service, but what do we know.
Another digital service discriminating this week is DoorDash, which is currently being sued for $1 billion for allegedly charging iPhone users more than Android users.
Palate cleanser of the week à la Women Supporting Women: According to Pop Crave, Stevie Nicks thanked Taylor Swift at her Atlanta concert for writing “You're On Your Own, Kid.” They write that the track helped her grieve the death of her longtime friend and bandmate, Christine McVie.
Didn’t get any Beyoncé tickets but want an opportunity to pretend you did, just for the fantasy? You can get a ‘Beyoncé Adult’ ticket from Newcastle Station, which was released ahead of her show in Sunderland.
Ending on this nod to Pride Month coming up.
CRINGE MEME
Remember the iconic Eurovision cameo from former Great British Bake Off presenter Mel Giedroyc? The item has now been added to the Museum of Liverpool’s collection (as it should).
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x