North Korea TV censors jeans, Kamala Harris claps along to a song protesting her visit & Nicola Peltz Beckham was forced to cut Brooklyn Beckham's cameo
The best cringe headlines of the past week according to yours truly.
Hello friend,
Happy Easter everyone, or as Travis Kelce once tweeted: #shoutout to Jesus for taking one for the team. 🫡
Hope your face is stuffed with Easter eggs. Now without further ado, let’s get into this week’s newsletter:
WYR have to hire people to appear as your friends on a reality TV show or perform for fans who are more excited about the opener than your own band?
Georjia: I think we’ve all been to a concert where you didn’t know or weren’t into the opening act as much as the main performer, but for the roles to be reversed must be rare and equally embarrassing. It often takes years to be the main event at a concert and to go on and see everyone is bored and leaving, what a punch to the gut! The idea of hiring people to be your friend is rough, were none of my friends available? Did my friends not want to be on camera? There are so many questions! But we have to realise that reality TV is not that real to begin with. Still cringe for it to be discovered though. But it’s not as bad as having people not be excited for you at your own concert. I’ll log on to Extra-People and start hiring!
Annika: Considering you’re meant to be the one who’s giving your opener an opportunity to play in front of a huge crowd, it’s painful to consider that it might actually be the other way around. Sure, you’ve managed to get big and successful enough to be the main act, but imagine getting to that stage (no pun intended) only to feel your success being diluted by the fact most people in the crowd probably didn’t even come to see you. People always say that you never really reach a feeling of success as you’re always looking for the next thing to accomplish, but man, I don’t think I’d get over this one. I’d rather hire people to appear as my “friends” on a reality TV show, after all, the audience should know the genre doesn’t care that much about “realness” anyway.
WATERCOOLER CHATS
Are you recovering from what your bank holiday shenanigans? Slowly exiting the pits of hangover hell? Need some help to bring you back to Earth? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
This week’s Would You Rather refers to:
Tom Sandoval allegedly hiring actors to appear as his “friends” in scenes on Vanderpump Rules – without even paying them.
Carlos PenaVega, singer from Big Time Rush, recalling how hard it was to see fans getting more excited to see One Direction than his own band, even though 1D was just the opener at the time:
"After our show, fans were outside the theater chanting for One Direction. That was really hard for us…But it was like The Beatles. It was like a freak of nature. They wanted these five, cute British boys."
A random headline we couldn’t resist keeping in is North Korea TV censors Alan Titchmarsh's trousers (jeans are seen as a symbol of Western imperialism and therefore banned, the BBC explains). Mr Titchmarsh told the BBC it’s given him “a bit of street cred”:
"It's taken me to reach the age of 74 to be regarded in the same sort of breath as Elvis Presley, Tom Jones, Rod Stewart. You know wearing trousers that are generally considered by those of us of a sensitive disposition to be rather too tight.”
Big yikes: Here’s a video of Kamala Harris smiling and clapping along to a song protesting her visit to US colony of Puerto Rico.
Is this marketing or real? Who cares when it’s this good: ‘Late Night With The Devil’ reportedly made exactly $666,666 at the domestic box office last Sunday.
Carly Rae Jepson says she can't recall what happiness feels like on day 4 of her sugar detox on her (very funny) IG stories.
The perhaps funniest thing that’s come out of the public’s response to the flag on the England team’s shirts changing colours is right-wingers thinking it represents the bi-flag:
We’re already aware that royal bootlickers and columnists love making up stories, and guess what, they’re at it again! Socialite Lizzie Cundy claims that her taxi driver pulled over and broke down in tears when hearing about the news of Kate Middleton’s cancer.
Nicola Peltz Beckham recently shared that husband Brooklyn Beckham was meant to have a cameo in her debut film but it ended up on the chopping block:
"He had one line, 'Hi,' but he kept saying it in a British accent and he was staring directly into the camera. I was like, 'Oh God, we have to move on, good lord.'“
Remember Honey Boo Boo? Looks like her mum is finally due for a reckoning, as she’s started questioning her mother about stealing money from the former child beauty pageant contestant and reality TV star.
Weekly palate cleanser: This security guard’s reaction after getting a cheeky kiss on the top of his head from a dancer on stage.
Huge fans of Charli D’Amelio’s original sound on a TikTok being swapped with the Ratatouille audio after the original song violated UMG music copyrights.
We love when celebrities come up with new activities in crowdfunding campaigns: The highest bidder will get Josh O’Connor to teach them how to make perfect porridge or Tilda Swinton to read them a bedtime story over Zoom as part of a new auction to crowdfund money for humanitarian relief in Gaza.
CRINGE MEME
Happy Easter/bank holiday weekend everyone:
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x