Squid Game players used condoms as chapsticks, Jen Shah's ab workout for fellow scammer Elizabeth Holmes & the story behind the iconic Stan Twitter meme
The best cringe news of the past week according to yours truly.
We’re thrilled to share that the new Hall of Fame for our most recent cohort of contributors is now live! Go check out all the writers and artists who submitted their work to our next issue, making it the biggest one yet with a whopping 152 pages!! Happy scrolling <3
Now without further ado, let’s get into this week’s newsletter:
WYR your parent thought you’re so stupid they scammed you into college or get caught doing a thirst trap via CCTV?
Georjia: Both of these send chills down my spine. Can I picture my parents thinking I’m stupid? Yes. Can I picture them scamming a way for me to get into university? Kinda?? I need more information like which college in particular they’re getting me into and if scamming only gets me into college and doesn’t get me the grades. I don’t believe my parents would scam (they abide by the law) but they also would’ve loved for me to get a degree from a school of high calibre. Doing thirst traps in itself can be cringey but getting caught on CCTV? I’ll be dead. See that body over there, it’s me. I’ll have my parents scam because they think I’m stupid.
Annika: Getting caught doing something embarrassing in itself isn’t that bad, like accidentally falling or behaving in an unhinged way while drunk. A thirst trap however is a very deliberate and genuine attempt at coming across a certain way, which immediately fails when it becomes a spectacle to someone watching from behind the scenes. Sure, I wouldn’t necessarily want my parents to commit fraud or bribery just to get me into some elite university, but it’s a hell of a lot better to be a nepo baby/child of people with scammer-wealth, than to embarrass myself filming a thirst trap with no real gains at the end. No one wins!
Wiktor: I think I’d rather have my parent think I’m stupid and pay someone off for me to get into university, simply because if they have the means to do that, I probably don’t need the university education to succeed in life in the first place.
Also, I feel like being caught thirst trapping at work is probs one of my biggest nightmares, as in general I find thirst trapping super cringe. Having other people know I’m doing it? Pls kill me.
Have you exhausted yourself putting up Christmas decorations? Feel a little faint from all the Christmas-scented candles? Need a distraction from the fact we’ve entered Christmas month aka Black Friday Month without the discount? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
This week’s Would You Rather refers to:
Felicity Huffman being one of 50 people charged in the largest-ever college admissions conspiracy – mirroring her Desperate Housewives character Lynette Scavo who "donated" thousands of dollars to get their twin sons into an elite private school.
Wishing everyone a great Christmas time, but especially Sabrina Carpenter who reminded everyone that Jesus was, after all, a carpenter, after the Brooklyn Catholic Church fired a priest who allowed her to shoot her blood-soaked music video for ‘Feather’.
If you thought misogyny on screen has lessened over the years, wait till you hear about the fact that Breaking Bad character Skyler White shares a top 5 ranking of most hated TV characters with Joffrey Baratheon, the sociopathic tyrant from Game of Thrones.
It’s been a great year for scammers, and now former reality TV star and Real Housewife Jen Shah is helping fellow scammer Elizabeth Holmes tone up behind bars through her “Shah-mazing” ab workout class. Her new nickname since her fitness influencer rebrand? Jen Fonda.
Big fans of meme icons giving us ‘behind the meme’ insights (god bless the woman behind the ‘but they were roommates’ meme). As sweet as opening the first door of your advent calendar, here’s the teenager behind the iconic Stan Twitter meme doing a story time explaining where she was when taking the photo.
Disney Adults are out of control: A man was arrested after stripping naked near the ‘It’s a Small World’ attraction at Disneyland.
Everything we’ve learned about this show has been against our will, including that players from the real life show ‘Squid Game’ were forced to use lubricated condoms as chapstick (the producers eventually gave them real lip balm).
A 10-year old boy has started a petition for Apple to use his re-design of the glass-wearing emoji, finding the original one “offensive and insulting”. Better than being an iPad kid honestly.
This week’s meme goes out to the Jacobin’s book-length obituary on Henry Kissinger, with this unbelievably excellent title:
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x