Taylor Swift ends friendships, London Marathon runner tastes 25 glasses of wine during race & shoutout to Seagull Boy
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
After a couple of years of running this newsletter in pretty much the same format, we’ve decided to switch things up a little. Don’t worry, we’re keeping the Would You Rather, both on Substack and our IG stories, but will be curating our favourite headlines a bit more, as well as spotlighting at least 2 palate cleansers to brighten up your Sunday.
Let us know if there’s anything you’d like to see! You can DM us on Instagram or email at cringe.editorial@gmail.com 💚
Now without further ado, here’s to our first weekly edit:
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
Deprived of His 12 Daily Diet Cokes, Trump Falls Asleep (Again) at Hush Money Trial
Household Cavalry horses cause 'total mayhem' after bolting through central London
Georjia’s favourite headlines
Law and Order SVU actress is mistaken as a cop when a child got lost
Shame and Guilt were originally new emotions Riley got in ‘INSIDE OUT 2’
WYR your friend broke up with you after shitting on their favourite artist or you got divorced over food hoarding and snoring?
Context: This week's Would You Rather refers to an article in the Cut which claims people are ending friendships over whether their friends respect Swifties/Taylor Swift & Gypsy Rose Blanchard reportedly leaving her husband over food hoarding and snoring, among other things.
Georjia: I think snoring is a good reason for divorce, I can respect that. It’s understandable. With food hoarding, are we talking like an episode of hoarders or just me not sharing snacks that ME, MYSELF and I bought? If we go down that route, then it’s a silly reason – buy your own! Having a friendship breakup because I was shitting on their favourite artist, quite dramatic. I have several friends who when they get handed the aux, I’m disappointed in what they put on but it’s not worth losing a friendship over. But then again, divorces cost money and take forever. I’ll have a friendship breakup because then I’d hope that they would learn to grow up and I wouldn’t lose any money or time with a divorce.
Annie: This game of who’s snoring or sleeping like an angel, actually, is kind of tired now, but I still defend myself whenever the accusation is thrown at me. If a partner is willing to break up with me and go through the lengthy and difficult procedure of a divorce just because I protect my snacks from them to avoid disappointment, then so be it. God knows what else they’re unable to tolerate. Friend breakups suck, especially when you don’t understand why it all ended. If my friend broke up with me because I was constantly shitting on their favourite artist and making them feel bad, then maybe I’ve got some reflecting to do. Give me the divorce, but don’t let me lose a friend over Taylor fucking Swift!
Weekly palate cleansers
Boy wins competition with seagull impression
Georjia: When I first saw this headline I thought that the competition must have very few competitors but I was wrong. People take seagull impressions seriously! And they should! Listening to it, I closed my eyes and was transported to a beach frantically running away with a bag of chips in my hands to hide from the pesky birds. What an achievement – and such a good and wholesome option for those awkward “3 fun facts” you have to do at every work place.
London Marathon runner tastes 25 glasses of wine during race
Annie: I’m torn on marathons – a part of me believes that they’re for people who don’t have enough adversity in their life, but another finds the runners’ spirit and joy of their supporters endearing. Drinking glasses of wine makes it so unserious (especially knowing that I’d throw up with or without it if I attempted to participate). Just humans being silly for the sake of it. <3
Meme of the week
Winner of this meme format:
That’s it for this week, see you next Sunday!