Tory MP's bare train feet got leaked on Wikifeet, Liverpool turns into “Taylor Town” & the Four Seasons Orlando baby
Your weekly Cringe edit
Hi friend,
Hope you’re reading this inbetween your bank holiday plans, and if you’re working (solidarity), we hope this gives you something to feast your brain on during your break.
Group chat fodder
Annie’s favourite headlines
Inside the Penis-Filler Boom: Some Girthmasters are made, not born.
Pop Bitch’s revelation that the Tories previously reached out to D:Ream to see if they’d consider writing a Conservative anthem for the 2010 election, (to oppose Labour’s campaign song ‘Things can only get better’), which they declined.
Johnny Mercer furiously hits back after bombshell leaked memo and bare feet criticism (the Tory MP was spotted barefoot on a train, working on an unsecured laptop – his train feet have so far received a 5 star rating on Wikifeet).
Gypsy Rose Blanchard appears on Season 5 of ‘The Kardashians.’
Georjia’s favourite headlines
Disney star Bridget Mendler adds more accomplishments to her LinkedIn after she graduated from Harvard Law School this week – adding to her Master’s degree and her PhD.
Liverpool announced they are turning the city into “Taylor Town” during Taylor Swift’s concert dates. LOVERPool was RIGHT THERE!!
The Apprentice premiered at Cannes Film Festival this week and left one of the film’s investors furious after the portrayal of his “close friend” Donald Trump in the movie, which has led Donald Trump to send a cease and desist letter to the filmmakers.
WYR your death was announced by puppets on a TV show or someone leaked your bare feet on Wikifeet?
Context: The first part of the newsletter refers to Ian Stirling revealing that when he worked in kids TV at the BBC, he had to rehearse the announcement of Queen Elizabeth’s death with his co-host puppet. The second part is about Johnny Mercer’s feet being leaked on Wikifeet.
Georjia: I would like to think my feet would get a good score on Wikifeet if I willingly uploaded my feet on there (humble brag). But the thought of someone leaking my feet on Wikifeet makes me very uncomfortable, it’s not as bad as leaking a nude or something but it’s a leak nonetheless. I don’t know anyone who actively checks Wikifeet (at least to my knowledge I don’t know anyone!) but it must gain some attention to be considered a big deal. Having my death announced by puppets on a children’s show would mean I would also have to be a big deal. I do think it’s quite funny thinking of all the ways the network would think about how to make a puppet serious enough to discuss death. If I had to pick a puppet to announce my death, I would want the whole Muppets cast there dressed in black – to think of it, that’s the only way I would like my death to be announced. Someone get the Muppets on standby please!
Annie: OK listen – I’m gonna be vulnerable here for a second. I wish I had the kind of money and time to properly look after my feet, but alas, they’re pretty gross. The only thing I like about them is that they get me from A to B pretty consistently and that I can use my toes to pick up things off the floor without needing to bend over. If someone leaked my feet and, like in the case we’re referring to here, gave them a great rating, I’d honestly feel a little less insecure about them. The possibility of my death being announced by puppets on a TV show implies that I’m famous enough for someone to break the news to children in a gentle way – sounds horrible, no thank you. I’d rather be famous on Wikifeet.
Weekly palate cleansers
Georjia: Martin Scorsese directs his daughter’s TikTok.
Annie: This checkpoint of the internet on YouTube, which my boyfriend showed me this week where people share where they are in life in the comments section. (My favourite: Checkpoint: I don't have anything to talk about really, I'm just sad. I have a great life, I'm just sad.)
Meme of the week
ICYMI: This one has to go to Rishi Sunak announcing the next general election in pouring rain while someone blasts “Things can only get better” in the background, the soundtrack to Labour’s win in 1997.
Bonus in case you’ve seen the above already:
That’s it for this week, see you next Sunday!