Gypsy Rose Blanchard leaves husband and gets matching tattoos with ex, Kanye West allegedly threatened employee in Mario voice & TikToker sings Lana del Rey’s National Anthem to Joe Biden
The best cringe news of the past week according to yours truly.
Hello friend,
We’ve got a strange cocktail of memes and headlines this week, so strap in and let’s get into this week’s newsletter:
WYR the person you just confessed your love to laughs and calls you a stupid bitch or see your divorced partner get matching tattoos with their ex?
Georjia: I feel like confessing your love for someone is a huge deal no matter what situation. It’s a powerful emotion and you hope to hear the other person say the same thing back. But to have them call you a stupid bitch, laughable. Painful at first genuinely, but I think within a few hours or a few days I would find it funny even if it hurt. They could say so much worse I guess? Seeing your ex get a matching tattoo with their ex right after you split, PAIN. Also laughable. I feel like I’d be more embarrassed thinking I’ve wasted my time with the ex. But matching tattoos generally end in breakups so who’s laughing now? I think I’ll have my ex getting matching tattoos with their ex. It’s something I could laugh about more quickly than laughing at being called a stupid bitch.
Annika: This WYR actually reminded me of that one time a guy I had been on a second or third date with unironically dropped the L-bomb, after which I, unironically, bursted out laughing, telling him he couldn’t be serious. (We broke up 2 months later and by we, I mean him.) While I think my reaction was justified then, I would be absolutely mortified if I built up to a moment of confessing my love for someone and they just laughed in my face. I’d rather see my divorced partner get matching tattoos with their ex and hope that I was the one who filed for divorce.
WATERCOOLER CHATS
Have you been scanning the most recent viral headlines after comedian Joe Lycett announced that he’s been planting fake news stories for his upcoming show? Sending every Fleabag-lover in your life the clip of Andrew Scott telling fans to go outside? Wanna stay in the loop with what else has been happening so you’ve got material for another week of workplace chitchat? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
This week’s Would You Rather refers to:
The internet’s favourite heroine Gypsy Rose Blanchard leaving her husband… and getting matching tattoos with her ex.
Comedian Jerrod Carmichael confessing his feelings to best friend Tyler the Creator, to which Tyler responded with a voice note where he laughs and calls him a "stupid bitch."
We keep seeing crimes that are so funny, you should be able to get away with them: A couple weeks ago, some kids robbed a bank and fled by foot, another person did some stretches before burgling a house, and this week we found a clip of a thief disguised in a trash bag stealing a package from someone’s porch. Top 10 CCTV footage, really.
An old clip has resurfaced of French children’s choir Les Petits Chanteurs d’Asnières, paying tribute to Serge Gainsbourg with his song “Je suis venu te dire que je m’en vais” (“I came to tell you that I’m leaving”) – kind of like when the Kardashians threw Kris Jenner a birthday party where everyone came dressed as her:
Comedian Joe Lycett has come up with a brilliant plan for his new show, which involved planting fake news stories that ended up going viral only to show how easily the public can be fooled to believe them. Can’t wait to round up the ones we fell for and included in our newsletter.
If you’ve read the latest Pop Bitch, you’ll be familiar with the rumour that Sacha Baron Cohen has been leaving a rather humongous present in the ladies’ toilet every morning on the set of Grimsby (without flushing).
An anti-drinking charity campaign went viral by accidentally making drinking sound… fun? Exhibit A:
Former Dance Moms star and performer Jojo Siwa is saying she wants to enter her Miley ‘Bangerz’ era. History repeats itself in strange ways sometimes.
Kanye West is being sued for workplace abuse, which involves
antisemitism and Holocaust denial
telling employees they’d get fired if they got fat
threatening to go after the LGBTQ+ community ‘next’ because “gay people are controlled by Bill Gates so that they don’t have children for population control”
and one employee claiming that the rapper threatened him by saying:
‘I'm going to punch you in the face,’ before abruptly changing tone, mimicking Super Mario's victory dance and saying, ‘I'm gonna give you one more chance. Another life!’
Weekly palate cleanser: This clip of a French driver slipping and falling into water during the Olympic inauguration ceremony.
First you see the Taylor Swift Reporter role being added to the roster of real-life journalists, now Harry Styles’ hometown wants to hire Harry experts to give tours. Capitalism breeds innovation!
We used to have REAL celebrities: Sharon Osbourne got a safe installed on Celebrity Big Brother for her 6 suitcases worth of jewellery.
Andrew Scott recently told Fleabag fans to finally get over the show and ‘go outside and get some fresh air’ (the series launched in 2016).
Is this the weirdest way to announce your divorce?
We have so many questions about this pic of Liz Truss holding a lamb:
Braver than the marines: TikToker sings Lana del Rey’s national anthem to Joe Biden.
CRINGE MEME
IYKYK:
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x