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HBO orders staff to create fake accounts to bash critics, ‘Somerset Gimp’ banned from 'crawling, wriggling or writhing on the ground' & presenting: Taylor Swift, the beaver
The best cringe news of the past week according to yours truly.
Have you saved the date for the Intercultural Zine Exchange & Publishing Fair taking place at Peckham Levels next Friday? The event is co-hosted by ual.amazines and will showcase lots of publications and prints by UAL staff, students and graduates as well as external publishers and book shops (including some back copies of Cringe). <3
We’re also only 5 days away from submission deadline !!! It’s looking to be our biggest issue yet, with more contributors than ever before. We can’t wait to share it with you.
Now without further ado, let’s get into this week’s newsletter:
WYR go viral for getting stuck in an escalator at a national fan convention or butcher the national anthem at a big game?
Georjia: How can I butcher the national anthem when it’s butchered as it is? I hate singing in public - and not in a Disney channel movie way where they say “I hate singing“ then sound like Whitney Houston, that’s not me. I can’t sing so singing solo to a huge crowd and then have millions also tuning in to watch is my nightmare. Also having to sing the national anthem is even worse! No one sounds good singing it! Getting my shoes stuck on an escalator is also a fear (I’ve seen the Final Destination movies many times) but how bad could it be? Sure, people would be mad but I don’t think it’s as humiliating. I’ll lose my shoes and break the escalator, we could all improve our step count.
Annika: At first I thought this was an obvious case: Getting stuck in an escalator is a human, perhaps even inevitable event that might happen in anyone’s lifetime. Most people witnessing me getting stuck might cringe but then find relief in the fact a shared fear didn’t come true for them. However, when I think about all the incredible artists who have been invited to sign the US national anthem ahead of the Super Bowl, it almost seems like a rite of passage to mess it up (not for all of course, see Whitney Houston, obviously). Suddenly the question becomes “WYR be such an acclaimed singer that you get invited to sing the national anthem or have a near-death experience as you get sucked into an escalator?” Messing up a live performance doesn't seem so bad anymore!
Lily: I was torn for a second. Could anyone butcher the US national anthem more than Fergie? Apparently so, Flavor Flav was totally dreadful. Getting stuck on an escalator is embarrassing sure, but if I looked as good as Brynn Whitfield during a moment like that, I think I’d get over it! Laugh it off and auction those wicked witch red bottoms!
Are you still scrubbing off your Halloween makeup? Busy training yourself to remain in absolute denial about being less than 2 months away from 2024? Need something to bring you back into the present? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
This week’s Would you Rather refers to:
Real Housewives of New York City’s Brynn’s high heels getting stuck in an escalator, and the camera zooming in as if her whole body was sucked into the escalator with only her shoes sticking out.
Flavor Flav singing the National Anthem, which is really proof that all you need to get away with poor performances on national TV is wholehearted sincerity.
Despite only half of our team being devoted Swifites (Georjia), we can’t seem to go many newsletters without mentioning at least one Swiftie fact: This week we learned that London mayor Sadiq Khan named one of the beavers he released into a nature reserve in Ealing after the singer:
“I named her Taylor Swift because she was dancing around, she was having a great time.”
Babe wake up new Leo DiCaprio girlfriend just dropped and they’re bringing PDA to another level:
“And he had that girth. He’s big in the frame at that time. He’s a wonderful actor and he was just great to work with.”
Cringe’s Avengers Infinity War: The Hot Ones x Chicken Shop Date crossover.
We weren’t super impressed with celebrity Halloween costumes this year, tbh. Except for Lil Nas X, who dressed up as a bloody tampon for Halloween:
North West really works hard to let everyone know that she is, after all, Kanye West’s daughter. When asked by i-D who her style icon is, she responded:
There’s asking the girlies to investigate a partner's potential cheating on social media, and then there’s HBO ordering staff to create fake accounts to fire back at people who criticise their shows online. Apparently the profile picture of one of the fake accounts in question is a stock photo used across international business websites:
Ending on the news that the ‘Somerset Gimp’ is now banned from wearing a gimp suit in public and 'crawling, wriggling or writhing on the ground' for 5 years:
Bringing this back in response to Suella Braverman’s absolutely deranged claim that sleeping rough on the streets in tents is a ‘lifestyle choice’:
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x