Oscars gift bags include 10,000 donated meals for dogs, Lily Allen says having children ruined her career & karaoke inventor dies aged 100
Our favourite headlines and memes this week.
Hello friend,
Thank you to everyone who’s reached out about issue 7 submissions! We’re slowly starting to respond to pitches and ideas – just a note to say that if you’ve sent us poetry, it might take a little longer to get back to you! We always receive a lot of poetry submissions so want to give every piece enough consideration and thought (we’ve started consulting other avid poetry readers for this process).
If you have an idea or artwork that you think fits our issue 7 theme ‘youth’, send it over to cringe.editorial@gmail.com (deadline for pitches: 28 April) <3
Now without further ado, let’s get into this week’s newsletter:
WYR be kissed by your favourite pop star only to find out they always deliberately kiss the ugliest fans or have a famous mum who reveals having children ruined her career?
Georjia: I’m sure anyone with narcissistic parents has heard the second option (my mum hasn’t said it to me and she’s not a narcissist). But also if my favourite pop star kissed me at a concert I’d be screaming “WATTPAD WAS RIGHT!!!!” And then finding out they kissed you because they thought you were ugly…stupid decision to do that anyway. But hey, they still kissed you! That’s a plus. Having a famous mum say you ruined their career I feel like happens to most nepo babies – didn’t Joan Crawford’s daughter write a whole book about this? I think I’d take being kissed by your favourite pop star. They might think I’m ugly, but they still kissed me I guess?
Annika: It’s so humbling to find out that you were perceived as the ugliest fan in the crowd after feeling like you were the luckiest, but I feel like the shame I would internalise from my famous and successful mother saying that having children ruined her career would be lifelong. Being ugly is not a choice, but being a mother is – I never asked to be born! However, maybe her fame would pay for enough therapy lessons to help me forgive her for such a statement, and make me realise that ‘having children ruined my career’ is really just shorthand for ‘paid working life discriminates against women and especially mothers!’ I’d rather choose the second option, and pretend like I wouldn't take it personally (for too long).
WATERCOOLER CHATS
Are you moving from one Kate Middleton-themed post to another? Running out of family members and friends to talk to about the conspiracy theories? Need some help to fill your well with other pop culture memes and headlines? No worries friend, we got you.
Here are our favourite headlines you can bring up during conversations you’d rather not have:
This week’s Would You Rather is based on
this tweet which shares the story of singer Jackie Wilson deliberately kissing the least attractive girls in the audience to make other fans feel confident they have a chance with him if they keep coming back to his shows.
Lily Allen talking about her fame on the Radio Times podcast, saying having children ruined her career:
“I never really had a strategy when it comes to career, but yes, my children ruined my career. I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop-stardom, totally ruined it.”
The only thing funnier than all the Kate Middleton theories is royalists writing about them. Sarah Vine’s headlines for the Daily Mail include:
The Picture Of Smiling Kate Couldn't Be More Welcome. The Truth Is The Country Needs Her And William More Than Ever - Even If They May Not Realise It
and an hour later:
The Picture Of Smiling Kate Kills The Absurd Conspiracy Theories. The Truth Is The Country Needs Her And William More Than Ever... Despite What The Montecito Moaners Say
#journalism
If you think your self-consciousness is bad, just think of former royal photographer Patrick Lichfield reverse-printing portraits of older ladies because they’ve “had a lifetime of only seeing their face in a mirror”, as reported by Pop Bitch.
What would the Oscars be without a little tumble: Liza Koshy falls on the Oscars red carpet.
Another delightful Oscars moment includes Emma Stone getting caught saying “he's a prick” while Jimmy Kimmel was on stage.
They have you believe for a brief second that “they’re just like us” and then celebrities get gifted things like liver pills and a 3-night stay in a private villa as part of their 6-figure Oscars gift bag. It does include 10,000 donated meals for dogs though.
Several guests, including Mark Ruffalo and Renée Rapp, used their visibility at the Oscars to call for a ceasefire in Gaza and support for Palestinians, but the perhaps most powerful moment was ‘Zone of Interest’ director Jonathan Glazer using his Oscars acceptance speech to point out that his film is almost as much about the past as the present:
“We stand here as men who refute their Jewishness and the Holocaust being hijacked by an occupation which has led to conflict for so many innocent people, whether the victims of 7 October in Israel or the ongoing attack on Gaza.”
“All our choices were made to reflect and confront us in the present – not to say, ‘Look what they did then’; rather, ‘Look what we do now.”
Highly recommend Naomi Klein’s column on his speech.
Remember last week when we talked about Joe Biden being ready to sign legislation to ban TikTok? Well, it’s always surprising how quickly politicians can turn things around when they want to, as it’s now been announced that the House has passed a bill to ban TikTok if its China-based owner doesn’t sell the platform.
Weekly palate cleanser: Martin Scorsese enjoying Ryan Gosling’s I’m Just Ken performance at the Oscar’s.
Which, btw, if you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out.
Formally taking a moment to thank the universe for this headline timing perfectly with our issue 7 theme ‘youth’ (pitch deadline: 28 April!!): Harry Potter Actress 'Worried' About Adult Fans: 'They Should Be Over That By Now':
“It was 25 years ago and it’s for children.”
Personally? Filing this under ‘be cringe and be free’.
It looks as if North West is trying to take after her father as it’s been announced that she’s working on her debut album titled ‘Elementary School Dropout.’
Big W going to Olivia Rodrigo this week for handing out free Plan B pills from the Missouri Abortion Fund. Unfortunately, abortion funds are no longer allowed to distribute contraceptives at her gig as it’s seen as ‘promiscuous’, Variety reports:
Jade Hurley, the communications manager for the DC Abortion Fund, says the NNAF said Rodrigo’s team preferred they no longer pass out lubrication, condoms and Plan B because “children are present at the concerts.”
“The reality is that youth have sex, and youth need access to birth control and emergency contraception,” Hurley tells Variety over the phone. “What we’re doing is completely legal in all 50 states.”
RIP to the inventor of one of the most cringe and delightful things in this world: the karaoke machine. Shigeichi Negishi has died aged 100.
Second palate cleanser: Dominic Sessa’s glambot.
Wishing you this vibe, wherever you are right now:
CRINGE MEME
Never getting off Twitter:
That’s it for this week! Feel free to let us know what cringe content, memes, and headlines you’ve been enjoying lately. Until then, we’ll see you in your inbox next Sunday!
Your Cringe Team x